people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Well I just put wine in my tea
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
