ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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