he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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