4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
