Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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