I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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