Are we in a gay sports bar?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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