my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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