Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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