i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My breasts were aching with rage.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize