You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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