We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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