I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
