She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
