he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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