I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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