you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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