The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
he just fucked me for my cheese..
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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