Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
