Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
