Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
