i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
