I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
