I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Never underestimate the power of titties
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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