I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
