I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
