The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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