This house was built for laser tag.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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