You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
