that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Princesses don't give blow jobs
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize