He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
