the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
