69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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