i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
