TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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