I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
