I cannot find my penis.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
