Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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