I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
