I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
