Me too!
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
