He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
