Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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