Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
