is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
