Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
