it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Slut skills are useful in every country.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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