He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
