Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
