My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
