didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize