She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
