You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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