if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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