I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
did you just send me my own nude
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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