Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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