the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
