one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
