Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize