Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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