Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
