Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So squirting runs in the family.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
