What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
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