You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
not ubering you a puppy
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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