the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
